


Leverage

by swirlybutt-mcmangocunt (pumpkinqueene)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor, Mild Language, Sexual Content, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 17:06:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10469943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pumpkinqueene/pseuds/swirlybutt-mcmangocunt
Summary: Amethyst and Peridot break their bed. When they realise Amethyst alone isn't going to cut it (and Peridot has more strength in her tongue than her arms- innuendo intended) they're forced to bite the bullet and ask Amethyst's sister to help move it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FluffKills](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffKills/gifts).



The mattress had sagged all the way to the floor, leaking stuffing and springs where the splintered slats had punctured it. Once Peridot had managed to work her foot free of the cushy little pothole it had sunken into, and had joined Amethyst by their bedside to assess the extent of the damage, she was forced to conclude that all of her engineering expertise wouldn’t be conducive to making repairs which would last more than a few days. The structural integrity of the bedframe was compromised, the mattress was a lost cause, and the green alien plush Amethyst had bought her on their first date was sandwiched between the floor and the foot of the bed, which had slumped to one side when the leg supporting the frame had snapped off.

“Duct tape?” Amethyst suggested. She could have been joking, but it was equally probable that she was serious. Peridot looked at her, partly to judge her with her eyes, and partly to check her for injuries. Amethyst was preternaturally sturdy; quick to heal and resilient against injury in the first instance, and Peridot was relieved when her cursory inspection of Amethyst’s body didn’t turn up so much as a bruise. 

“It’s worth a shot,” Amethyst shrugged, correctly interpreting Peridot’s expression, “And I’m fine P. Tough as nuts, that’s me.”

She flexed jokingly, turning her back to Peridot for inspection, and still dressed in her seafoam bralette and panties. Peridot- who actually felt the cold- was wearing her favourite Kermit onesie, which was the main reason she marvelled over the incomprehensible fact that, not only was Amethyst’s line of seduction possibly more ridiculous than frog jammies, but it would- in all probability- be entirely successful in other circumstances. 

Circumstances in which they still had a bed to have sex on.

“I can see your buttcrack,” Peridot said, “We need a new bed.”

Amethyst hiked her panties up her butt with a shimmy, adjusted her boobs, and followed Peridot’s gaze back to their destroyed bed.

“I guess there’s no way of fixing it, huh?” she said. She nudged an errant spring with her toe, sucking her lower lip with a sigh. “There’s the bed in the guest room. We could take that one and throw this one out. Get a futon for the guest room. It’d be cheaper than buying a new bed for our room.”

As ideas went, this was a pretty good one. It was certainly cost-efficient, and allowed them to avoid any furniture shopping trips and the subsequent awkwardness which came with two lesbians picking out a bed while the sales assistant danced around the obvious implications. There was, however, one problem with this otherwise reasonably effectual plan, and Amethyst had also alighted on the issue.

“Sooo…,” she drawled, scratching her belly, “How do we move this and get the other one in here?”

“Uhhh…,” Peridot managed intelligently. 

And therein lay their problem. Both she and her girlfriend were in the “needs a chair to reach the top shelf of the kitchen cabinets” height class; and, while Amethyst dabbled in amateur wrestling and seemed to take it as a challenge to carry all of the grocery bags into the house at once or die trying, she wasn’t “can singlehandedly carry an entire king sized bed and mattress” strong.

“A removal company?” Peridot said, “Or we could break it up and move it piece by piece?”

“We don’t have the money or tools to do either of those things,” Amethyst shook her head, “All of your equipment is back at your nerd cave- “

“My lab,” Peridot corrected her, more on reflex than out of any real feeling of offense.

“-But maybe we could bum some tools off of what’s-her-name next door?”

“She’s on vacation,” Peridot said, “But- “

“Oooh!” Amethyst gasped suddenly, shaking Peridot’s shoulder excitedly until she thought her teeth would rattle out of her skull, “Oooh! Jasper!”

“What about her?” Peridot chattered. She pushed Amethyst’s hand off her shoulder and slid her glasses back up the bridge of her nose, but Amethyst was already pawing through last week’s dirty jeans, looking for her cell. 

“She could lift it!” Amethyst’s muffled voice proclaimed from underneath the worryingly unstable bed, “I’ll call her and ask her if she can get this one out of the room, and put the other one in here!”

That was probably true, but Amethyst was relying on the presumption that her older sister was willing to come over on a Friday evening to help them deal with the culmination of Amethyst’s and Peridot’s shared idiocy. The Cuarzo sisters were only a year apart in age- Jasper was the oldest- but although the bare bones of their personalities and looks were similar, they were so different that few would mistaken them for blood relations if not for their shared traits. They both had brown skin and big, natural hair they refused to straighten on principle but had no problems dyeing (platinum for Amethyst, honey-blonde for Jasper); and they were both loud, coarse, and punchy, with husky voices. But that was where the similarities ended. 

Amethyst was tiny, chubby, and (in Peridot’s scientific opinion) perfectly formed for sex, snuggling, and swimsuits. She had the most beautiful dark eyes (again, according to Peridot’s scientific opinion), and her smile was on Peridot’s list of Reasons The World Doesn’t Necessarily Suck (along with many other Amethyst Attributes, of course). Amethyst thought very little of herself, but pretended otherwise; and she thought a lot of her sister too, while also pretending otherwise (although without the greatest success). She was the human personification of a hug- although, obviously, much much sexier, especially when they played dress-up. 

Jasper was…Jasper. Practically perfect in every way, if you believed the stories people told about her. She was so tall, she had to duck down underneath doorframes, and her eyes were amber-brown where Amethyst’s were dark. A guy at a bar had once complimented her on being “busty, phat, and swole” shortly before she had decked him for grabbing her ass, and that was probably an accurate summary of Jasper’s looks and personality.

OK, no, that wasn’t fair. Jasper was aggressive, yes, but she was also an all-rounder; gifted academically and physically, on top of possessing a terrifying amount of drive which exhausted Peridot just from watching her. And she wasn’t even that aggressive lately! She’d been getting much better. It had been ages since she had broken anything, bones or otherwise.

That didn’t mean she would be willing to help them, though.

“And if she says no?” Peridot said. The sight of Amethyst’s sheer panties, stretched across her backside where it was sticking out from underneath the bed, was entirely too distracting, but Peridot decided to persevere, just in case Amethyst got stuck, or the bed fell on her, or she had a wedgie or…something.

“No way she’ll say no,” Amethyst laughed confidently, shimmying backwards with little grunts and huffs that Peridot tried not to find as pathetically interesting as she did. Amethyst reappeared, her hair messy and an old gum wrapper stuck to her chin, but triumphantly holding up her phone. 

“I’ve got leverage,” she explained as she picked a dust bunny off her screen, “So she’ll do it.”

“How can you be so sure she’s even capable-?” Peridot asked.

“Shh,” Amethyst said cheerfully, holding up a finger. The cell at her ear rang seven or eight times before Jasper answered with a growled “What.”, so loudly that Amethyst moved the phone away from her ear with a wince and a grin.

“Busy?” she cooed suggestively. She hit the speakerphone button just in time for Peridot to hear Jasper’s answer loud and clear.

“You know damn well I’m busy,” Jasper snapped, “What do you want? Cut the shit, Amethyst.”

Something in her tone must have suggested that continuing to tease her would be counterintuitive to their aims, because Amethyst dropped her bratty kid sister routine immediately.

“I need your help,” she said, “My bed’s broken, and I need to change it for the one in the guest room-“

“And you can’t lift it so you want me to haul ass across town at nine o’clock in a Friday, because you and your girlfriend got carried away banging like bunnies and totalled your fucking bed, and I’m the only one you know who can deadlift that kind of weight,” Jasper finished. The smirk in her voice was audible. “Did I get all that?”

“Yeah,” Amethyst mumbled with a glower, “Don’t even, Jasper. I don’t want to hear it.”

“OK,” Jasper sniggered, “And why should I come over? It’s snowing out there. I don’t want to get out of bed for that.”

“Yeah,” Amethyst said flippantly, “I guess if I was you, and I was in bed with my rich hot older sugar mama, whose surname may or may not sound like Shimond, I wouldn’t want to leave either. But I suppose I could make an exception for the sister whose nose I broke in eleventh grade.”

“That was seven years ago!” Jasper groaned, “And how did you know about me and Magnolia?”

“Well for starters, everyone else calls her “Pink”,” Amethyst rolled her eyes, “So are you coming? Well, I mean, probably not, since I’m interrupting you in the middle of the act, but-“

“I’ll be over in half an hour,” Jasper said, “You’re not funny.”

“No, I’m fucking hilarious,” Amethyst corrected her with a cheeky grin. The beep of an ended call was her answer.

Jasper arrived twenty two minutes later, with snow in her hair and a sneer on her face. 

“Move,” she said, throwing her pea coat onto the love seat and striding off towards their bedroom. Underneath, she was wearing a gladiator costume, but its designer seemed to have taken more inspiration from porn than archaeological and historical evidence. Even so, Peridot wanted to meet the perverted engineer who had formulated a method to keep those comparatively tiny boob cups hanging onto Jasper’s nipples indefinitely. Surely that kind of technology had more practical applications than enabling Jasper’s kinky sex life. 

Amethyst whistled theatrically, leaning against the doorframe in her underwear. Peridot had had enough sense to change out of the Kermit onesie into something she wouldn’t be ashamed to die in, but Amethyst’s philosophy when dealing with her sister had always been “she can’t use shit against me if she thinks I have no shame”. Her approach had a varying success rate.

“So is Pinky Pie Diamond dressed as your sexy empress?” Amethyst said, “How much tape did you have to use to keep your tits covered? Are you even wearing anything under there?”

“You’re the one who broke your bed having sex,” Jasper returned, stepping into their bedroom. Her unnaturally flawless brows climbed almost to her hairline as she surveyed the remnants of their bed.

“That must have been the most aggressive cowgirl position in history,” she remarked, “What the hell did you two do to pull this off?”

“Can you move it?” Amethyst said evasively while Peridot inspected her nails. With an insulted twist of her lips, Jasper squatted down and picked up half of the splintered bedframe with one hand.

“Where’s this going?” she asked, swinging it as she stood back upright.

“Never mind that, who does your waxwork?” Amethyst blurted out, “I need their number.”

Peridot closed her eyes and counted to ten. In Arabic. Backwards. 

She loved Amethyst, but sometimes- very rarely, perhaps once a year- she was a little too…much. She was sure Amethyst could make a case that Peridot was far more abrasive than her, but Peridot wasn’t currently asking her sister about her waxing routine; so at present, Peridot could safely look at her girlfriend in mortified askance as Jasper pursed her lips and blinked once. Very slowly.

“Where do you want the bed?” she said.

“Just…put it in the guest room for now,” Peridot stepped in, “We’ll have to take the headboard off the guest bed to get it in here, but I have a screwdriver in the kitchen. I’ll go and get it.”

“Hey, if she didn’t want me to see her coochie, she shouldn’t go out in the snow without panties,” Amethyst called after her, as though to defend her case. For some reason, it didn’t.

Between the three of them, they managed to pile the broken bed in the corner of the guest room and transfer the guest bed into the master bedroom. Well, alright, the three of them was a bit of a stretch. It was almost entirely through Jasper’s efforts that the swap was made; she even held the headboard in place so Peridot could screw it back on (keeping her eyes low, because Jasper was tall, and Xena on a pogo stick, that skirt was short) while Amethyst munched her way through a leftover pizza and provided valuable commentary.

(“This yours?” Jasper asked at one point, holding up a mortifyingly familiar purple whip.

“No judging, Cleopatra,” Amethyst scowled, snatching it out of her hands. Peridot was too embarrassed to correct her.)

Finally, the bed was made, the alien plush was rescued, Peridot had managed to pass off her sexy lab coat as a practical lab coat she absolutely used for real actual science, and Jasper was collecting her pea coat from the love seat.

“If you’re going to bang like it’s a fight to the death, buy a stronger bed,” Jasper said, by way of parting advice.

“I don’t want to hear that from you, Spartacus,” Amethyst rolled her eyes, “But thanks. I guess.”

“Better,” Peridot said approvingly. At least she had the occupation right this time. And her awkward gratitude was commendable too.

“Uh huh, anytime,” Jasper said dryly, buttoning her coat, “Try not to break this bed, OK?”

“Try not to get frostbite on your pussy,” Amethyst returned, which spelled an end of what was, for them, a sweet sisterly exchange.

“I drove here, dumbass,” Jasper snorted, “The snow isn’t bad. And considering when you interrupted me, that’s the last place I’m going to get frostbite.”

And then, with that last gauche parting shot, she was gone in a blast of chilly air. The sound of her heels faded into the distance, and Peridot and Amethyst finally looked at each other.

“So that’s our story?” Amethyst said, “Let her think we were fucking like animals and broke the bed?”

“It’s less embarrassing than admitting we were jumping on it like toddlers,” Peridot grumbled, blushing at the thought. She scrubbed her hand down her face and groaned. “I wish we did break it through sex.” 

“Well…we could try,” Amethyst said nudging her with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 

“Or we could do it on the floor and avoid breaking the only bed we have left?” Peridot hedged.

They broke the couch instead.


End file.
